dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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