I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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