Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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