The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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