She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
