How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
they're like a gay fantastic four
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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