i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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