lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you