this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
This house was built for laser tag.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
