We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
