Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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