well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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