The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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