I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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