I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize