nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Your penis caused this!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
