I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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