hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I know her cup size but not her name....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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