I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can't put those talents on a resume
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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