I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize