Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
