You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
