I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
