I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
