My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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