honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
