Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize