I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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