i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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