never play flip cup with pint glasses
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
