i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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