used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
