and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If I had your ass I would rule the world
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize