I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize