look no pants
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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