if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
