I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.