I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.