sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
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Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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