Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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