my mouth tastes like poor choices
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
