Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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