I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
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All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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