Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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