Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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