He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
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Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
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I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
do nipples grow back?
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