k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize