Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
