Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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