So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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