WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
